refactor(options): memory management

Problem:
Numerous callers have to manually check optval ownership (i.e. whether,
and how, to release) via `is_callback_option`, `option_is_global_local`,
etc. This is fragile, hard to use correctly; and if we introduce another
optval variant in the future, we'll have to redo all of these careful
checks and boilerplate again.

Solution:
Provide a unified system and use it everywhere:

    optval_free_owned
    optval_is_owned
    optval_own

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