Don't automatically force shutdown on second restart.

This is maybe a bit of a niche case, but I hit on this often as I'm
developing a server, and therefore continually restarting it to get the
latest changes of the server. Previously, I could only do this once
since if you send in a request to restart/shut down the server, it will
register it as a `tried_graceful_shutdown = true` meaning that the next
restart would force it to be killed instead of another graceful exit.

Instead, this changes the name a bit and now it will only mark
`graceful_shutdown_failed = true` _if_ it actually fails to gracefully
shutdown. This change allows for a user to restart multiple times in a
situation like mine where nothing is going wrong, but I just want to
restart continually as I'm developing without having to close and
reopen.

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